richwhitelesbian: bringing-back-gallifrey: richwhitelesbian: we need some new and more powerful swears voldemort’s nipples no. rejected. im clawing at my computer screen trying to get through the web to destroy you
How the Logic of "Friendzoning" Would Work If...
*Man walks into a store and finds employee*
Man: Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!
Employee: Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?
Man: I never filled out an application.
Employee: Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.
Man: No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!
Employee: Well, but that doesn't-
Man: AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!
Employee: But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.
Man: OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!
Employee: Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?
Man: Well no, but what does that matter?
Employee: ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.
Man: Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.
Employee: That...doesn't make any sense.
Man: NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
Man: Fuck you, slut.
everets: its a book and when you open it its an ass and the middle is the crack and every page is someone else’s ass. theyre all famous asses. you have to kidnap famous peoplea nd photograph tjheir asses for this.
babyferaligator: hella is a very accurate amount
fivem0nths: I’d like to do cute shit with you. But also fuck the living fuck out of you.
sloth-grunge: do you think if i die now i’ll have enough time to be reincarnated as kim kardashians baby
ammitt: on a lighter note shoutout to hot pockets for the death of 45% of my taste buds back in 2009
xnikex: have you talked to ur dog today? if not then you better get busy
bigeisamazing: what exactly does 80% of Odd Future do?
i just can’t feel bad for stuff that’s self-inflicted like you drink past excess and you’re vomiting your brains out i don’t even wanna help you. you brought this on yourself. maybe i’m just too cold of a person lol
have you hated someone so much but you know you’re not supposed to hate them but you can’t help it? how do you reconcile that?